Pour Your Heart Out, Once a Year
by voldie90
Summary: On New Year’s Eve, Lily’s mother made her write a reflection on the past year. Lily decides to make this a habit…so here’s a collection of snapshots of Lily’s life from age 10 to when she dies, written once a year on every Dec. 31st. LJ, Rated for languag
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **On New Year's Eve, Lily's mother made her write a reflection on the past year. Lily decides to make this a habit…so here's a collection of snapshots of Lily's life from age 10 to when she dies, written once a year on every Dec. 31st.

**A/N: **Hmm, what a random idea.

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna do this only once, so listen up. Y'all know that the HP stuff doesn't belong to me, but the dates in this chapter I didn't create. I got them from the HP Lexicon website. Rest is from my mind (I think).

**--**

**Chapter 1: 1968, Ten years old**

**Dec. 31, 1968**

It's almost the New Year!

Mummy says I should write a "reflection" on how 1968 went, to go back and look at all that I did and all that I didn't, to remember the wishes I made and those that came true, and to cherish all the good times I had. Sure, that sounds like loads of fun…not!

It's all Petunia's fault I'm doing this. _She_ hasn't been getting top marks in her English class at school, so Mummy's making her write a reflection for extra writing practice. I started laughing at her when she told me…I, of course, didn't have to do it; I got top marks in all my classes! But Petunia complained to Mummy that I laughed at her, who got mad that I laughed at my sister, and now I'm stuck writing a bloody "reflection".

_Sigh_.

Might as well start at the beginning. I shall call this book my…Reflection book.

Hello, Reflection book! I'm Lily Marie Evans, age ten years, attending Year 4 at Ridgewoode Academy for Girls. I've got one sister, Petunia, and two cats, Monty and Python. (Cute names, aren't they?)

I've got red, red, RED hair and green, green, GREEN eyes. All the boys in my class call me a walking Christmas tree. Last year, during Christmas time, a kid named Billy Butkis even put an ornament in my hair. He'd done it during DEAR time (Drop Everything And Read time)…so I hadn't noticed he did it until everyone started laughing at me. I had gone sooo red in my face, it must have clashed horribly with my red hair.

Billy Butkis is a complete prat (has a deserving name, doesn't he?). Now that I think about it, all the boys in my class are prats. There's Mike Ryder, who is really good at football and he knows it, so he shows off A LOT. Then there's Mark Cappo, the class bully. Mark only bullies boys; he thinks girls aren't worth it, since we always cry and the teachers come to us, so he never gets the lunch money or new bike or whatever else he wants from us. This past year, though, he annoyed me. I mean, REALLY bugged me. He wanted my new shiny pencil sharpener! Of course, I wasn't willing to let it go. Unlike other girls, I don't cry…I fight! So I kneed him in between his legs, where boys always seem to touch when they think no one's looking.

That did the trick—Mark Cappo fell over like a broken doll and started howling like a monkey overdosed on Smarties. I didn't know what I had done…I just kicked him, right? It shouldn't hurt _that _much. So I went to Petunia that night and asked her why Mark Cappo cried like a baby when I hit him between his legs…Petunia never tells me anything. She's such a bad sister. So, as always, she was useless...she just said I hit him on his pee-knees…is it called that because boys pee from it and it's between their knees?

Either way, I was talking about boys, right? So half the boys in my class are all complete nincompoops, and the other half are so quiet, they're just nameless blobs sitting on stools. Why isn't there someone perfect out there for me? Someone, when I see him, I'll know he's the right one. When, oh when, will I find this guy?

Cripes! I'm 10 years old, and I have not had one single boyfriend yet! My friend Rita Edgewater had TWO…and she said her last one kissed her on the cheek! Lucky Duck.

But I guess it's worth waiting for my perfect guy, whoever and wherever he is.

He'll have brown—no! BLACK hair that'll be so naturally cute-looking. And he'll have…well, hazel eyes would do, I suppose. His eyes can't be blue, as they'd clash with my bright green ones, and brown eyes are way too boring. So hazel it is. He'll be taller than me, for sure! But not too tall, because how will I be able to kiss him? Next, he'll be well-built…because he'll be good at basketball. He'll be better than Mike Ryder is at football, but my perfect boy won't show off. He's a good guy.

And of course, he'll be smart! Clever, and funny, and intelligent too! He'll bedazzle all the teachers and the girls with his knowledge. But of course, he'll have eyes only for one girl…me! He'll love my hair, and my smile, and especially my eyes. He'll call me his flower, his pearl, his girl. (Hehe, that rhymes!) He'll be hopelessly romantic—red roses and all! Most of all, he'll love me for who I am—Lily. His name will be…okay so I don't know what it will be, but it will be perfect!

_He'll_ be perfect.

Yeah. That'll be my Prince Charming. He's here somewhere…and I know I'll meet him soon!

Let's get back to reality, Lily. This is a reflection! Talk about what happened all this year and stuff. Chop, chop.

Okay. This past year has been a bit…quirky. Stuff happened so randomly, so unexpectedly, so accidentally, that it seemed almost like … _magic_.

Like, take the time Petunia gave me a haircut. She was angry that day, _really_ angry – I think her boyfriend broke up with her – and Mummy forced her into giving me a haircut. She cut my hair so extremely short, it was painfully embarrassing. Have I ever mentioned how horrible of a sister Petunia is? I wish I could just move away from her or something…but alas, this is my only home. Anyhow, she made me look like a girl running away from a pair of hyperactive scissors. I cried and cried and cried that night, and went to bed thinking about how everyone would make fun of me in school tomorrow…especially stupid Billy Butkis.

But when I woke up, the most strangest thing happened…my hair was back to normal! It looked exactly like it did the previous morning, like Petunia hadn't even touched it. No one knew why it happened, but Mummy was talking about how I'm a good girl and God loves me.

And what about the time we had a pie-making contest in town? I so, so, so wanted to win that contest, just to show Petunia I'm better than her. When the judges started to judge, I closed my eyes and prayed really hard to God (who supposedly loves me so) that I win…I opened my eyes to a LOUD noise to see that everyone's pies had somehow blown up in their faces….except mine, that is! Since mine was the only pie remaining, I had won the contest!

And …

Oh, my god! It's TEN MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT! Oh…there's so many things to do! So much confetti to spray, so much candy to eat, so many Petunia's pigtails to pull, so much fun to have!!

Reflection book, I thought it would be so very boring to write in you…but it's been okay. Maybe I'll do this next year too. But now I've got to go and welcome the New Year. I'll see you again next year, same time, same place, Reflection book. Until then…so long!

_xo_ Lily Evans

--

**A/N:** Yahhh, I know it was pretty boring since it's pre-Hogwarts…but Hogwarts is coming in the next chapter. Oh, btw, my grammar is _horrible_ here and there in this chapter...because this is 10-year-old Lily writing. SO ... review if it's any good! (I wanted to put a smiley face here, but the equal sign doesn't work and the colon looks retarded.)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Welcome back! I'm sorry I took so long...no it wasn't that I was busy with school. Heck, it's second semester of senior year (yah I'm a senior), and I'm completely infected with Senioritis. It's that I'm SICK!! All day yesterday I slept. Hehe, I'm feeling a little better today. :o)

Well, here is Chapter 2...It's slightly different. Tell me if you like it...if not, I'll revert back to the structure of Chapter 1. ENJOY!!

**Chapter 2: 1969, Eleven Years Old**

**December 31st, 1969**

Oh thank god I found you! I know I'd brought you to Hogwarts, but I didn't know where I put you! Alice, Meena, and I were all searching for you, and…I really should start at the beginning, shouldn't I?

Well…1959 has been the most amazing year in my life (so far). So many magical things happened … literally!

So, in June, after I finished Year 4 at Ridgewoode, I received a letter. During dinner, I think, we heard a large _smack!_ on our window. I remember thinking it felt … I don't know, _weird_. Unnatural and eerie, almost. We couldn't see outside as it was raining pretty heavily. And Petunia, the lovely dimwit she is, stupidly stood up and opened the window latch. I know, what was she _thinking_?!? It could have been a psychopath, a serial killer, a CHILD-KILLING NUT CASE! No, she doesn't think about all that. Noooo, it's completely normal to hear a _smack_ on our kitchen window during dinnertime, isn't it?

Whatever. She opened the window and in flew an owl.

What followed was utter chaos.

Petunia panicked and closed the window, as if warding off any other owls that were thinking about coming in. Mom fainted, incredibly surprised about this _wild animal_ that just entered our kitchen. And Dad was holding her, his own mouth open, astonished. As for me, well I don't exactly remember what I was feeling. I mean, it wasn't as if I saw the owl, and I _knew_ that it was something special. But I wasn't crying with fright, either. No, I was just thinking that the owl ran away from an abusive trainer or something, and since I seemed to be the only one still in perfect senses, I got up to drive it out of our house.

But as I walked towards it, I noticed that it had a paper in its … what are they called? Claws? Talons? In its owl-ey legs. I gazed at it uncertainly, and after glancing at my parents (who were still in a this-is-beyond-anything-I've-ever-seen stage), I decided to open the paper. And what do you know, it's a letter from _Professor Albus Dumbledore_, saying I got selected to go to _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_.

Like any sane person would, I thought it was a joke. I ignored the letter. But a few days later, this same Professor Dumbledore came to our house…well, flew, more like.

One evening, our door just magically opened and in flew Dumbledore…in a horribly ugly purple suit with a yellow tie, and a black wizard's hat. As you can imagine, it was quite a surprise.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Evans! I am Professor Dumbledore." He greeted my parents, who were sitting on the sofa with their mouths open again (oh dear, that's happening quite a lot, isn't it?). I was standing by the television, and Petunia, who probably thought it was one of her ex-boyfriends back to get revenge, jumped behind me and hid there.

Since he received no response from my lovely parents, Professor Dumbledore tried again. "Good evening, I am Albus Dumbledore, and I will be Lily's new headmaster at Hogwarts. I'm sure Lily told you all about that from the letter…" he trailed off, looking at me pointedly.

…my mouth was open too, okay?? I admit, I was surprised too. I didn't think that when the letter said that Professor Dumbledore would come to our house at 5pm on Friday, someone actually would. I mean, what kind of a person really has a name like Dumbledore? It all seemed like a sick joke!!

Er, that's not to say…uh, I love my headmaster!

So yeah, I received quite an alarm that day, to learn that _magic_ really exists! And that I am a witch…

Wow, I still remember how happy I was that day. I am not ABNORMAL! I am not WEIRD IN THE HEAD!! Okay, the second one is still disputable (according to Meena and Alice), but at least I'm not abnormal like those people who, uh, are abnormal?

Anyhow, Professor Dumbledore took me to Diagon Alley that day, and I went shopping in a whole new way. My new wand is willow, 10 ¼ inches, swishy, and, according to Mr. Ollivander (the wand-store guy), quite suitable for charm work. After helping me buy all that I need to start a new life in the Wizarding World, Professor Dumbledore dropped me at home again.

My parents were both very excited for me…who wouldn't be, seriously? Actually, I can answer that…Petunia. Although she has always been sort of cold towards me, Petunia's attitude towards me has been absolutely icy since that day! Whatever relationship we had prior to Hogwarts totally went down the drain. I'm not sure if she's jealous, or if she really thinks of me as a freak due to the whole magic thing. I know, I should be more concerned about the fact that my sister wants to disown me, practically, but we were never that close.

I mean, we have nothing in common! She is—

**-- Change in POV --**

A black-haired boy suddenly grabbed the book from Lily's hands and ran.

"Oh, what's _this_? A diary!" Sirius Black laughed with glee. "I think we should _read_ it…what do you say, Jamsie?"

James Potter laughed along with his best friend Sirius. He put on a high-pitched voice, trying to imitate Lily, presumably. "OOOOHHH, I'm Lily Evans, and I am the wretched red carrot from outer space!" He ran his fingers through his unruly black hair, and took Lily's Reflection Book from Sirius.

Lily, meanwhile, went completely red in her face. "IT IS _NOT_ A DIARY! AND IT IS _NONE_ OF YOUR BLOODY BUSINESS! **GIVE _IT_ BACK**!!"

"Ooh, bad language, missy. That is totally unacceptable," James taunted her.

Lily lunged at him, intending to cause as much harm as possible, but succeeded only in knocking his glasses off. James effortlessly picked up his glasses, and along with Sirius, ran away.

"Catch me if you can, Evans!" he cackled at her, along with cries of "Come get me!" from Sirius. The two boys ran out of the Gryffindor Common Room, laughing like maniacs all along. Lily knew she wouldn't be able to catch them…pah, who can? Those boys are incredibly fit, even for mere 11-year olds.

She turned to Remus Lupin, the quiet, brown-haired boy who was watching all this with a solemn face. "Er, Remus, can you…?" she looked at him, pleading him silently to bring back her book. Remus looked at her with understanding eyes. Sighing, he stood up and walked out the portrait hole.

Lily sat next to her friends, Alice LaFolle and Meena Shah. Such good friends they are: they looked at her with concern, as Lily suddenly put on a depressed face.

"Uh…all right, Lily?" asked Meena, rubbing Lily's back.

Alice gave her a hug. "It's okay, girl, you said you didn't write anything too personal in there anyway." Her round face was full of concern, although she was unsure why the book was so important to Lily.

"Why would you want to write in a diary on New Years Eve anyway?" Meena continued.

Lily looked up, giving her lovely friends a wan smile. "I'm just worried those immature fools are gonna wet themselves with excitement…"

--

_Hello! I'm Lily Evans, and I loooooooooooooooove James Potter! What can I say, he's sooooooooo devilishly handsome! **Oh, don't forget about Sirius Black! I do say he's gorgeouser than phooey James Potter.**_ **I doubt neither gorgeouser nor phooey is a word, guys.**_ **Who cares? Not I! Not James! Not … er, who else**?_

"This is bo-ring," James announced, already tired of writing in Lily's little diary.

"Why, I'm definitely having fun, finding out that little Evans is in _lo-ove_ with Jamsie," Sirius responded, with an amused smile on his face.

Yup. That's right. James and Sirius had read Lily's description of her perfect man…who coincidentally (A/N: or not haha) looked a lot like … James Potter.

James scrunched up his face with disgust. "Blah, who cares, Sirius? Girls are useless. Let's go, I just thought of a perfect prank!"

"Guys," Remus intercepted weakly, "Shouldn't you give that diary back to Lily?"

"Oh Remmy, you goody goody, we can do that later! This is New Year's Eve, and LET'S GO PARTYYYY!!"

**-- Back to Lily --**

OH. MY. GOD. Thank God SOO much I got you back!! Ugh, I cannot believe Potter and Black took you away from me…I wonder if they read that story I made up about my perfect boyfriend…okay, I think I owe my readers an explanation.

Wait, what reader? This is a personal reflection book, right? RIGHT. No one, I repeat, NO ONE is to read in here. Two jerks plus one jerk-wannabe have already done that; I don't need anymore, thank you very much.

Well, either way, I need to record my feelings about said jerks, James Potter and Sirius Black. And perhaps their sidekicks, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew as well.

So. The day I was supposed to board the Hogwarts Express, my parents dropped me off at King's Cross and told me to have a safe year. They were in a hurry (Petunia had a dance recital or something…she gave me a snooty look as my farewell). Anyway, I walked in with my loud and bulky trunk, slowly but surely, all the way to Platform 9. This was my first time at the train station (I know, I have such uncaring parents, don't I?), and I wasn't sure what to expect. Huh, definitely wasn't expecting Platform Nine and Three Quarters to NOT BE THERE!

And as I was staring at the **PLATFORM 9** and **PLATFORM 10** signs, someone tapped my shoulder. You already know about my … pessimistic views of the world. Thinking I was about to be mugged, I jumped up six feet in the air and released a loud scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! GET AWAY!!!!" I think I said.

But I turned around to see this _handsome _boy staring back at me. He … I almost fainted. He looked exactly like my vision of THE PERFECT ONE. He looked even better, if that was even possible! He had absolutely cute-looking black curls, and he looked at me, his face full of excited happiness.

"Wow, that was an awesome scream!" He commented on my beautiful voice…er, I'm not sure if that was a compliment or an insult. "Bet I can scream louder than you can!"

He opened his mouth and let out this god-awful scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

I jumped again. What was wrong with this boy? He seems to have left his brain at home. "SHUT UP!!" I shrieked at him, aware of the crowd that was starting to form around us.

"Hey, did you change what we have to scream??" He wondered out loud, his cute face full of innocent doubt. "I can yell _that_ louder than you too!" He opened his mouth, which was as unbelievably hot as he was, to doubtlessly beat me in the screaming game I was apparently playing. But before he could emit any noise, I clapped my hand to his mouth.

"Shut _up_!" I hissed at him. "People are staring at us," I said, with my eyes wide.

This attractive boy shrugged me off. He looked at me weird, as if it was completely normal for people to have screaming matches in the middle of the sodding train station, and as if he didn't understand why I was shutting him up. But he decided to move on with life, and held out his hand. "I'm James Potter," he said, giving me a heart-breaking grin.

I took his hand and looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I'm nameless, thank you very much."

"Ohh-kay, Miss Nameless, would you like me to help you?" Oh, so now he's being chivalrous?

I didn't know what to tell him. I mean, I already asked several train station officials about where Platform Nine and Three Quarters is, and they looked at me as if I was a madwoman. Mad-girl, I mean. I'm only 11! So I wasn't sure if I should ask him where I would be able to board the Hogwarts Express.

"You're looking for Platform 9 ¾, aren't you?" He asked me before I could decide.

I gaped at him. He couldn't read my mind, could he? "Does…does that mean you're a … ?" I didn't know if I should utter the word _wizard_ in such a busy place. I mean, there's a reason why the Wizarding World is hidden, isn't there?

James gave me a wide, proud smile. "Yes, I'm a wizard!"

And that gorgeous piece of the male species helped me get through the magical barrier, and onto the red-gold-and-steaming Hogwarts Express. At that time, I thought James was THE PERFECT ONE. I know I've only known him for a total of 10 minutes, but I thought he was surely THE ONE.

Oh, God bless me, how wrong I had been. How _terribly _wrong.

James Potter and his equally evil crony Sirius Black seem to have one goal in mind: to ruin my life. They call me "carrot top" and "red-headed monster" and oh my god, they are incredibly annoying. (A/N: I, er, seem to lack the creativity to think of good bullying names for red-headed people with green eyes. Please help?)

And it's not just innocent name-calling either. James poured _pudding_ on my back. Sirius broke my only quill. James kicked my cauldron and made my feet sprout _hair_. Sirius turned my hair white for an entire day. James killed my plant in Herbology. Sirius … well, he stole by Reflection book!!

So you see how monstrous they are?! They're atrocious! And the thing is…I wish James Potter isn't that bad. He's really quite good-looking. If only he had a matching personality…I would totally grab him.

Unfortunately, that's not the case now, is it???

Pah, why ruin such a happy day with memories of yucky boys?

It's my first New Years Eve at Hogwarts, and I plan to ENJOY IT! (Oh, you might be wondering why I'm at Hogwarts during the Christmas break…yeesh, my completely inconsiderate parents decided to take a second honeymoon to CAMBODIA! And so I'm stuck at Hogwarts.)

Well, adios, then, my lovely Reflection book…I'm deeply sorry those idiotic boys wrote in you.

_xo _Lily Evans

P.S. I was just looking over this entry, and I realized I never formally introduced Alice and Meena. Well, they are … my best friends. There you go!

:o)

**A/N: REVIEWS make me update faster!! (How else am I supposed to know I'm loved?)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I already kept you waiting for like a week! So here it is! I wanted it up ASAP, so I didn't go back and check for errors...**

**Finalmente, disfrutenlo!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: 1970 (or 71, oops), 12 years old**

**January 1, 1971**

Hello!

Er, before I talk about the past year, I do want to apologize to you, my lovely Reflection Book. You sit in my drawer all year long, waiting patiently until December 31st for me to open you up and pour my heart out to you. But I've betrayed you, haven't I? I've forgotten you on the 31st of December. And yet I shamelessly came back to you on the next day, Jan. 1st, and am still writing in you. I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings.

…

Dear Lord, I just apologized to a book. Must have lost my mind. Or maybe I need more sleep. Maybe I shouldn't have woken up so early. Not that Petunia lets me sleep anyway. She wakes up and creates a racket. What an insolent sister…she's got to learn how to care for my feelings. I mean, I came back from a party late, late, _late_ last night, for gods' sake!

Er, that's not to say…I mean, I didn't forget about you due to a party!! I swear! Please! Just don't be mad at me!!

…

Okay, _definitely_ need more sleep. Now I'm just being ridiculously delirious.

So the delay in my reflection may or may not be due to a party I went to at the Potters' house.

I know, I know…how come everything and anything I do somehow ends up revolving around Potter?

I have no idea. My mind is saying "Feed me! I'm hungry!" when I ask it this question. My mind is rather queer; it is hungry just when I need to use it the most. Tell me, what is the point of having such a smart brain if all it's so hungry all the time?

Oh, Merlin. Okay. I need to put more energy into _thinking_ before I write. I sound like an insane donkey. In fact, you might even say I'm going bonkers.

Anyway. Yes, there was a party last night at the Potters' house. Wait, calling it a house would be _so_ grossly wrong. It was a mansion. HUGE, I tell you. There were floors upon floors, and rooms after rooms, and so many manservants! Funnily enough, there weren't any maidservants at all. (Maybe Potter's parents thought that he would seduce all the girls in the house before he even turned 10. That boy is so … for the lack of a better word, _horny _at all times.)

Thankfully, I wasn't the only one there. Alice was there too. Her parents were friends with the Potters, but she didn't want to be there alone, so she dragged me along. SO THERE! It's all Alice's fault I forgot to write in you on Dec. 31st!! Also at the party were James's cousin Andrew (hehe) and Peter's friend Shamrock. (What kind of a name is that? He goes by Rocky, by the way).

And the Potters' house was FULL of butterbeer. Everywhere you look, there's a case of butterbeer sitting out there. It's supposed to barely have _any_ alcohol, but apparently even that was too much alcohol for twelve-year-olds' bodies. Actually, I'm pretty sure they were faking it. They _wanted _to be drunk, I think, so they just _were_…it was like…what's that word? Placebo. The four Gryffindor boys, James, er– I mean Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew were acting like they were high off of alcohol. And let me tell you, partying with I-want-to-be-drunk-so-I'll-pretend-I-am boys…was not so fun.

First Sirius, in his fake drunken stupor, yells out "SPIN THE BOTTLE!" (Honestly, is that the only thing 12-year olds want to do at parties?)

Alice and I were completely against it. But noooo, of course, we're just stupid girls who have no say at all! And they even made the rules so that you have to kiss regardless of what sex the person was, no questions asked.

Little Rocky wanted to go first. Er, let me describe him for you. He's short, not-so-healthy (if you know what I mean), and _squeaks _when he gets too excited. And so, in reply to Sirius' announcement of the idiotic game, Rocky goes, "Me!" _squeak _"Me!" _squeak_ "First!" _squeak squeak giggle!_

Yeah, it was quite weird. **(A/N: does this word even exist in 1970?)**

When Rocky spun the bottle, it landed on Sirius! HA! That's what he gets for suggesting we play that moronic game. With a very, very, very, very, _very_ disgusted face, Sirius closed his eyes and pursed his lips. He didn't even try to save himself from kissing a slobbery, squeaky, fat boy. So he does follow some rules (pssh, those he made up himself).

James goes next, holding a half-full bottle in one hand while spinning the empty bottle with the other. He was hiccupping too. And laughing maniacally. Multi-tasking master, I guess. Well, he spins and _guess what_, the bottle's mouth lands on me! ME! I WAS THE NEXT VICTIM!

James' face suddenly turns evil. He puts on this demonic grin and yells out, "KISS ME, LILYYYYYYY!!"

You know, if I really was kissed by that Neanderthal, I wouldn't be reliving it by writing all these details. So yeah, I _wasn't_ kissed by James Bloody Potter. Thank gods!

As James leaned in towards me (I was shivering with disgust, by the way), one of the Potters' manservants comes into the room and rings a bell. "Dinner is served!" He enunciated.

Is that how they all get together for dinner everyday in that massive house?

So I was saved by the bell. Literally.

After we came happily with food in our tummies, James tried to kiss me again.

"You owe me a kiss, Evans," he said, smirking. "I'm ready when _you_ are." Wow, what a gentleman.

"That would be NEVER!!" I spat at him. Yuck. I don't even want to _think_ about kissing a psycho potty-face, much less actually do it. Come on, you have to see how he eats dinner. You'd think, growing up in such a respected family, he'd learn good table manners. Pahahahah, no. He's a downright slob!

Whatever. He waved a piece of paper in front of my face. "The _rules_, Evans. Remember the _rooooooooooles_?" He smuckered his lips. "Let's do it."

"Ohhhhhhh no no no no no, NO! You missed your chance. That's it. You're done. Get lost, now."

And then there was some commotion coming from Sirius, Peter, Andrew, and dear old Shamrock. I think Rocky wanted to kiss Sirius again…erk. Peter was trying to hold back Rocky, and Andrew was helping Sirius … recover from puking?

Oh dear.

After all the commotion was done, some idiot suggested we continue the game again. I'm not sure who that was (I was in the loo when they decided), but I do want to thank him.

You heard me right!

When we went back to playing Spin the Bottle (we graduated from an empty butterbeer bottle…Sirius had stolen a vodka bottle from the parents' parlor thingy), Andrew wanted to go first. So this Andrew guy, I'd noticed at the beginning of the night, was kind of cute. Being related to James Potter didn't seem to have done any damage to his brain, thank gods. He had curly dark brown hair (just the kind of hair I find cute on a guy) and the apparently characteristic Potter hazel eyes (Mr. Potter has them too). And yeah, these features sound normal and common and not that exciting, but what makes him cute really are his dimples. Whenever he smiles or laughs, he cheeks had a slight dent that makes him look _really_ cute.

Yeah, as you can tell, I'm quite smitten by Andrew.

Okay, back to the party. Andrew spun the bottle, and hallelujah, it landed on me! I seem to attract the mouth of the bottle tonight, huh?

So, as I really had no aversion for Andrew nor any other objections, I was okay with kissing him.

Andrew smiled when he saw that the bottle landed on me (and his cute dimples lit up again!), and took my hand. I think James was scowling at us…at me, more like, for not kissing _him_.

We walked to the balcony attached to the room, and Andrew closed the door. Turning back to me, he gave me a huge smile.

"You okay with doing this?" Aww, he was so compassionate.

I nodded. "I just didn't want to kiss that brainless git, James." Oops, he's Andrew's cousin, isn't he? "Er, not that your … cousin is brainless…or anything," I stammered, going red in the face. Great move, Lily, really great. Calling his cousin a brainless git is really going to make him like me. "Sorry, Andrew," I lamely finished, cringing.

A rush of laughter came out of his mouth. "Bwahahah, don't be, Lily. You spoke the truth," he said, at which I joined in his laughter, relieved that he didn't get repulsed by me.

Somebody inside yelled, "Get on with it!!" which made both of us blush. Gods, we're so alike!

Suddenly, I don't know what made me do this, I leaned towards Andrew's mouth and kissed him full on the lips. It wasn't a soft, careful kiss, but a I'm-nervous-and-I-like-you-a-lot kiss. Frisky. Inexperienced.

But I guess Andrew was impressed by my inexperienced kiss. He gave me a wink, and came back for more. Suddenly, there we were, my hands around his neck, his hands snaking around my back, each of us lost in a kiss. It wasn't a deep French kiss, no…but it was a bit too _spicy_ for my first snog.

It was good. Sigh.

Andrew and I exchanged addresses, and promised to keep in touch. He likes me, and I like him…we want to be together. But he goes to Beauxbatons, which is FAR away, sadly. But we'll get together after we graduate…which I realize is five years away, but we really want it to work. It being this relationship between Andrew and me.

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, that boy is trouble, I tell you. He grabbed me off to private corners of the mansion several more times that night for, well, together-time. Let's just put it that way, shall we?

Come on, we want to have a long-distance relationship. We have to make the most of our time together, don't we?

After Sirius decided he was bored with Spin the Bottle (Remus kissed Alice, and Sirius had to kiss Shamrock again, bahahah), we all sat there, staring at each others' faces (Andrew and I were busy), unsure of what to do next. We can only play Exploding Snap and Chess so many times. Although the Wizards' Chess packs are gosh-darned cool. James and Sirius were itching to play a prank, but according to them, Mr. and Mrs. Potter did _something_ to restrict them. They knew how to control their son(s), thank gods.

Then Peter squeals, "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

We all stare at him, our faces blank with surprise. Well, James had expression as if Peter just yodeled. He looked at little Peter with a face full of shock, surprise, disgust, fear, repulsion, whatever else you want to add. I thought he was going to seriously patronize Peter for suggesting something so _girly_.

…but a moment later, he yells out, "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

That boy is SERIOUSLY whacko in the head, I've decided. I must grow up, become a healer, and treat him.

Wait, why would I want to do that?

…

I'll spare you the rest of the party. So what about the rest of the year, eh?

Well, my first year at Hogwarts came to a close this past year. Gryffindor (oh I don't think I ever mentioned it: I got sorted into Gryffindor, the best of the four Houses!!) was sooooooo close to winning the House cup, but sadly Ravenclaw beat us. Honestly, it's a miracle we had _any_ points at the end of the year, much less winning second place, after all those pranks played by the four idiotic boys (you know who I'm talking about). They earned a reputation as troublemakers two sodding months into first year. They do everything! From turning Slytherins' legs into jelly to turning Mrs. Smithers (Mr. Filch's beloved cat) blue to erasing teachers' lesson plans so we wouldn't have lessons that day.

They're crazy. They're also craaaaaaaaaazily smart…doing all sorts of advanced spells and stuff.

Wish I was that smart.

But I did okay on my First Year final exams, I suppose…100 in Charms, 87 in Transfiguration, 94 in Defense against the Dark Arts, 140 in Potions, 92 in Herbology, and 96 in Arithmancy (which by the way is a THIRD YEAR course!!! I'm advanced!)

Yeah. I did alright. But what bugs me is that the stupid boys (well, excluding Peter, I suppose) scored higher than me and yet they never touch a book. Honestly, they're sooo nonchalant during first year…how will they survive 'til seventh year?

But my summer after First Year was stupid-boy-free, thankfully.

Mother, Petunia and I went to Miami, Florida in the States for Aunt Daisy's wedding. (My mother's name is Violet…my grandmother Rose is obsessed with gardening and insisted she name Petunia and me too). Father and Aunt Daisy have a constant riff-raff between them…so he was purposefully being "held back, back, back by work!"

I was, sadly, too old to be a ring girl and too young to be a bridesmaid, so I was just a pretty onlooker. I _was_ pretty, really (not to be vain or anything). I was wearing a beautiful peach-colored dress that complemented with my crazy red hair (which only happens once in a blue moon). The wedding was on the beach…you know, that reminds me. As we were driving to the wedding area in our car, I saw many signs that had "Playa" on it, pointing here and there. And er, I was confused. Were they advertising unfaithful men? Male prostitutes? What kind of people are those Americans???

**(A/N: Playa beach in Spanish)**

Other than that, my trip to the States was wonderful.

Second year started after that…time _whisked_ by, I swear. It only feels like two weeks after school started, but here I am, writing in my ever-so-faithful Reflection Book (er, a day late, I guess I should add).

And now time has come for me to depart. Mother is yelling at me as I'm writing this to come eat dinner…which I don't want to eat (I smell brussel sprouts, yuck).

I promise, next time, I won't be a day late! Happy New Year!!

Until next time,

_Lily Evans_

* * *

**A/N: So, good? bad? I guess I'm sticking with Lily's POV (no switches like in Chap. 2). Incidentally, in math class yesterday, as I was doing some intense math, my friend opened a box of brussel sprouts...sorry if you like them, but they do smell horrible! Haha, okay, I'm done. Press "GO" ... I can assure you that reviews WILL make me update faster. I gotta feel loved, no? (Tell me what you liked and what you didn't like in your REVIEW!!)**


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